Hello Team Flyer!!
How you doing? We are back with a special #GoDoFly moment! We are proud to present, Amelie Boucher from A Wanderer´s Adventures. She is all cool, college-savvy, life discoverer and ready to give you a helping hand. Not only spilling the beans about college, yet telling you her latest Netflix addictions and books she loves. Run over to her page to find out the latest on college ideas, college troubles and college way of life! She is fully experienced and always wanting to make your college experience much better.
Believe me, I sure know! I have look at her page often times to know that we are all rocking the same college boat and doing the best we can. So, without further ado, here we present this beautiful adventurer, from Quebec to the world, former Language Student (can we get a ¨heck yeah, sister!¨ for the four languages she knows!), Amelie!
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR PARENTS
DON’T SUPPORT YOUR DREAM
I’ve mentioned in my 21 Things I’ve Learned in 21 Years post that family will always be there for you no matter what. But what happens when suddenly, it’s not?
I’ve had my head and my heart full of dreams lately. Some of them are about to come true, some of them remain just that, dreams. I’ve been more excited about life than I have ever been. I finally feel like I have a purpose, like I know what I’m doing and where I’m going. I’m finally enjoying myself and trying to live my life to the fullest. I’m reaching out to opportunities and trying to unleash my full potential.
But what happens when your family doesn’t share that feeling?
My family has been through some rough patches in the past few months. It was tense in my house. Living inside of it, I knew that things were much different than what they appeared at first sight. Inside the pretty exterior was a much darker place.
It is weird that it is during those times that I found my sense of purpose. But that’s what happened. I ignored the negativity in my house and went off on my own path. If I could define my second year of university in one word, it would be this: opportunities. I’ve finally gathered enough courage and self-confidence to take opportunities as they passed by me.
At first, I kept my dreams to myself. I didn’t want to upset anyone, and I certainly didn’t feel like my parents would approve.
But I knew that I had to share my hopes and dreams to my parents eventually, even if it scared the hell out of me. The earlier the better. I couldn’t keep this burden to myself anymore.
My parents have always been this figure of authority in my life, and I’ve always tried my best to please them. But as I was doing this, I realized that I was living for them and not for me. That had to stop. I chose a major that I loved and didn’t get my mom’s support right away. My dad, on the other hand, supported my choice no matter what. Even today, my parents don’t fully understand my choice, but they support me.
But that dream that I had to share with them was much bigger and much scarier than anything I’ve ever done before. But I wanted to do it anyways.
It took me a week to work up the courage to finally tell my mom. A week of stress, because I didn’t know how they would react. Or actually, I knew, and I wasn’t ready to confront it just yet. A week where every time I saw my parents, I was on the verge of pronouncing the words that would shatter our world.
When I finally did tell my mom, it went exactly how I had feared it would: I received a straight no and was told that my parents would not pay a penny to encourage this.
But I didn’t care about money. I just wanted my parents’ approval, like I had always wanted.
My mom and I fought, which lead us both to tears. I told her that I didn’t care whether they supported me or not, that I would do this anyway because it was what I had always dreamed of. I had been denied so many opportunities, and I was tired of being told no.
When I saw her cried, it made me cry harder. I had never wanted to hurt anyone. I knew the moment was not well-chosen, but I couldn’t hold it any longer. I had to tell someone.
Afterwards, my mom saw that I really wanted this. I wasn’t kidding when I told her that I was going to do this whether she liked it or not.
The next morning, I still hadn’t told my dad, and I was dreading this moment even more. I’ve always been closer to my mom and talking to her scared me less. Once it was out in the open, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But I knew I would have to tell my dad eventually.
My mom took care of that for me. When I came home, my dad came to me and told me that he knew about my dream. Contrary to my initial fear, he said that he would help me if I needed to and held me in his arms. That made me want to cry even more, because I thought both of parents were behind me and would support this dream of mine.
Even now, that’s not completely true. Whenever I bring up the subject, my dad doesn’t dare to look me in the eye. It’s like he’s scared or wants me to give up. I feel like he doesn’t care. My mom, on the other hand, tries to make me change my mind. She doesn’t outright say it, but I know based on the little comments that she makes.
I thought my parents would support me no matter what, but now I’m realizing that I’m on my own on this one.
So, what do you do when your parents do not support you?
Don’t give up. No matter what happens, don’t give up on your dream. It doesn’t matter whether people like it or not. You’re doing this for yourself and yourself only. I know it hurts when your loved ones do not encourage you, but do not let them get in the way of what you want. Continue to work hard towards your dream and do not let anyone convince you that you can’t do it. Don’t waste your energy trying to convince people that your dream is valid. It is valid and if people can’t see that, then it’s their problem.
Find other people who support you. If the people closest to you do not support you, surround yourself with other people who do. In my case, I wouldn’t have to be able to do it without my friends. They encouraged me to go for what I want and gave me the courage I needed to pursue my dreams. I also found great comfort in my sister, which I thought was surprising. She thought that what I wanted to do was awesome and supported me when my parents tried to convince me not to do it. Make sure you surround yourself with people who believe in you and you’ll be able to move mountains.
Make it happen. No matter what happens, you have to make your dream come true. Not only do you owe it to yourself, but when people see that you’re serious about something, they tend to be more supportive. Take concrete steps towards your goal and make yourself happy. You deserve it.
Amelie is a college + lifestyle blogger from Quebec, Canada. Her blog, A Wanderer’s Adventures, is a growing resource for college students and twentysomethings who want to thrive in life. She loves books, planners, and Netflix a little bit more than she should. Connect with her online at awanderersadventures.com
And as for us, keep spreading the love and comment down below, you can find Team Flyer everywhere, even over at her page… check her out and send her some hellos and hugs from here!
The Always Believer
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