Such a great treasure to have and to find. We all know they are all hard to find, those everlasting friendships that survive anything and everything. I grew up watching Friend, Boy meets World, etc and moving on to recent ones as How I met your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Cougar Town, Happy Endings, Scrubs and more. Ever since I saw these friendships bloom on-screen, sticking by each other no matter what, I always knew that I wanted this. I always knew that I wanted to have these wacky, curious, amazing characters by my side. Even if I would only find them in my mid 20´s or more, I will eventually be surrounded by good-hearted people.
Now, let´s talk about being there for friends. Yes, I am always saying to look out for your needs too however there are quite a few times we need to put them first. Here is a good list of them.
When they are hurt: Not only emotionally and need a big hug, a shoulder to cry on and tons of TLC but also physically hurt. Even if it’s just a sprain ankle, a visit to the ER to get stitches, a cast or whatever it may be, you need to go with them. Yes, it might sound like a total bore fest sitting 6 hours in the waiting room in between running tests, but who cares? Not only are you with your friend but you are also sharing another experience with them. It gets lonely and sad to be there by make yourself but being with a friend helps make the experience more positive and even fun. Hours to talk, hours to play games, hours to share together. Another tip: pregnancy of any kind and check ups of any kind also count. They need you there, whether they say it or not.
When they are over the top drunk: You know you are both partying and one of you had a bit too much. Maybe because of personal issues or just wanted to let loose, that moment they hit the floor and can´t stand back up straight is where you come to a rescue! Seriously, that is where you pick up the slack and take them home. Now, imagine they have gone out on a random Wednesday night and they call you at 2am to go and pick them up. Yes, it is cold beyond your bed and yes, it is the middle of the night. But you know what that friend did? Call you! Even in their mental state, they called you because they knew that you would be a good friend. They knew they could count on you. That moment is not the time to scold them or anything, just pick them up and let them sleep the night over at yours. The next day is a whole different subject.
Another thing to keep in mind: This is for true friends, through thick and thin, those best buddies. Not for ¨friend¨ that always calls you because they know you would come and then doesn´t even say thanks.
When they lost their job/another rejection/major family issues: This one is solid. This one goes for everyone. They might be too afraid to let it show, they might not even want to tell the world. But you know deep down, they need you. Not only because of the crisis, but because it is a serious issue,loosing a job can make someone go downhill. They need someone there to have their back and lean on for a bit. And when it comes to major family issues, more of the same. Drop what you are doing and hang out with them for a while,listen to them and make them laugh.
Keep in mind that even though we all need time to heal, it doesn´t mean that we are going to be there 24/7. Just be there in general and let them know that you care.
When someone dies: This one is a big one.It has a lot to do with what is stated above. Specially when it comes to a close friend, close family member. Make sure you stop what you are doing, whatever you can, to be there. Funeral, wake, phone call, anything to help them through this. If it is someone distant, still be there for them of course. Some memories might strike up, some distant feeling might come up or just the thought of death being so close sometimes is the thing that triggers them off. Do what you can to be there for them, emotionally and physically. Listen to them,ask and make sure they feel comfortable. If they get too overwhelmed or too into the drame, don´t buy into it. People handle things differently, specially topics like this one. Be sure that they are going the right path of dealing with those feelings.
When they are worried/afraid/stuck/hit rock bottom: We all have these moments, we all need someone to lean on. No matter if we want our privacy, no matter if we don´t show it, we all want someone there to talk to. As soon as you friend tells you they are any of the above, go out of your way to talk with them. Set up some extra time to care for them, to have a meaningful talk. After all, as soon as you talk, both sides will feel better and you know they can get back up soon enough.
Another thing to keep in mind: If they are in this mental state for too long, you have tried anything and everything to help them and they are still like that, ask for extra help. Not only through other friends but maybe even family members. Remember, we can´t change anyone if they don´t want to. So, be the best friend you can be and carry on.
Breakup: Tricky subject, nonetheless, be there for them. Don´t let them filter your life and talk about their ex 24/7 for the next six months, specially if it just was another fling. However, do let them vent and advice them ways to cheer up. Going back to the tricky part, the ¨Venting about breaking up¨ time is a hard one. If it just lasted a few months, they would need a couple of weeks. But when it comes to years relationship, that venting period could last up to a year even. That is your call, depending on how they are and how they were together. Remember to live your life too and to remind them that life goes on, as yours. In total, be there for them. As soon as you can, drop everything and set up a long night of talking, venting, movies, going out, race car driving, bowling, etc. Anything to help them get through. Respect their space too and let them know that you are there.
Your heart: Say what? Yup, that moment that your heart keeps reminding you to call them. It means something. No matter how old you are, no matter who you are, we all feel it. We all get that calling within that shouts to call, visit, write them. Follow your heart. Follow your gut. You know it is right.
All in all, these are just a few times in particular that we all need a friend. These times that we are brave enough to speak our mind and let it all go, we need a good friend nearby. We all need to feel loved and know that there are people in this world that take care of us too.
If you can think of any other times we all need a good friend?
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
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