Looking in

Hello there my beautiful sunshiners,

I am happy to say that with the support of friends and followers, life does go on. You see, lately my mind like any other has been all over the place. Even so, I have been the positive type, the same one that all this time, I´ve had my foot and heart into the motivation side.

So, here I go:

Lately, everything that I have gone through has made me rethink twice or three times or once more again. Past and current friendships made me go through a series of thoughts that made me re think how I have been and how I am. Therefore, making my mind and heart-break into two. You see, I was all into being this persona that I created for myself, to protect myself.In my younger years, I was one extreme then I turned into another extreme and I stuck to that for a long time. Until recently. By recently I mean this whole year but mainly the whole of last month. It´s been a progress and it has taken me a lot of bravery to get to where I am now. Which personally, feels like a mess but it really just is some reorganizing to do.

Learning, knowing, discovering my clumsy self. The one that has made drastic changes,the one that has made mistakes, the one that doubts, the one that needs daily doses of positivity, the one that put herself last, the one that finally has stopped to make herself know that it´s time for self discovery and bravery all over again.

Most of what I discovered is this: History does repeat itself.

Even if that is the point or not, it really does repeat itself and it is a lesson learned when it is needed to be learned.

So, what now? Finding out and then right away as soon as I feel ready, letting go of old manners that were slowly killing my inner self. And from there, know that I am able to talk more about my feelings, stand up for myself and that it´s ok to not be ok. It´s ok not to be always so cheerful. Yes, I know that might at some point defeat the actual purpose of a blog like this but in reality, the same one I am finding out, is that it´s ok to have some off days.  You see, I will always be positive, I have always been and that´s the way I plan on staying. Therefore, dear reader, you are in this path, reading these lines with me and I want to be as sincere as I can. With you, with this and most of all with myself.

That´s the whole point of this.

No more hiding our true self. Being able of taking a step forward,no matter how messy it might get, how deep it might be or how much time will it take to get to a better place. These lines, these moments, it´s my way of feeling, it´s how I am right now, it´s how I want to express myself to the world. You might have gone through the same,  might be going through it now, might come back to it. Either way, this whole thing is about feeling better with oneself. And I welcome you to come here. Why? Because I am being brave, with each word I write. I am being honest to myself with each word I write. I am pouring my heart and soul due to the fact it´s something I want to do.  Whether if it’s just one person who reads this or the rest of the world, it feels right. And most of all, I am also letting go.

I´m rediscovering this feeling all over again:

¨ Why should I worry? Why should I care?¨

I´ve talked and talked to my greatest friends, I´ve read, I´ve done yoga and let me tell you something honey, the feeling of getting back together with oneself is scary but it feels great at the end of it. Now, it is all about getting to that feeling of really not caring in the good sense and being me. Learning and knowing my set decision and listening to myself. It is like that roller coaster, it does sometimes lead to rethinking things yet it mainly leads to making that change, the first one or the millionth one all over again, of knowing yourself and what you want. Because we are constantly changing and evolving, we are learning to let go and to take things in. It might take me a while to get to where I want to be whenever it is that I figure that out.

I´ve gone through a lot and been there done that kind of deal. The past, don´t need to go back there anymore, lesson learned as far as I know. I made a promise to myself all this time without thinking, which is to Always Believe and do.  All I know is that I will always be positive, I will always turn to the any motivational post or video to get me through, I will always keep that mentality.

Really, it is all our own outlook on life. And even though we do listen to the ones we love and the ones we want to, it comes down to listening to oneself. And in that instant, feeling good with oneself. Then, just riding that wave. Because life is full of surprises, you can plan until a certain point, all along, just catch the wave, feel it and live the moment.

Lastly, take this post as you like. You´re entitled to your own opinion and feelings as I am . And  I, for one, feel brave, feel bold and feel self loved to have written these lines. To not only taken the first step of talking it all out with loved ones, yet also doing it through here. At the end of the day, I love to help. And I know, me being brave, right here with this art piece, will help one of you along the way. Because it has helped me in the past. Because you get what you give. Mainly, treat others the way you want to be treated.

Look into yourself and see what you find, if it’s that time for you like it was for me, embrace it, be brave, let go and let´s go through it together.

Thanks for the read, there´s more on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Glipho and NaNoWriMo. Stay tuned if you like, if you like, press that follow, like, share button. Just do what your heart feels.

The Always Believer

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