Oh my, you read the title and thought I was going crazy, right?
Nah, darling, it is just another cliché in the works because we know love sucks as much as love is wonderful…
Let me explain!
What to say when you got no words to say what you feel?
Oh, dear Team Flyer, have we seen ups and downs in life and in love and just wow…
So, a few weeks back that are actually months, we talked about love and being heartbroken… did we open a door there or what? You reached out to me and talked to me about your own personal feelings, beliefs and even own adventures, it was very fulfilling as well since it did feel that we are in this together… and of course, some of you ask where am I now and how I feel… and well, honey, I am still without words …
Or am I? That is the thing, I am a bit torn on this one since part of me is all about speaking up and opening up and wants to talk and another part of me is just speechless and without the energy to talk… so what is going to come out? I don´t know and here we go anyway, because even though expression yourself for the whole world to see is quite evasive sometimes, the fact that I am capable of talking to you and you reaching out, the fact that we feel like this is a community and a safe place, makes it all come together… because without going in too deep, I get to express myself, you listen (well, read in this case) and even get to express yourself.
And here we go…
Right now I am thinking that love sucks. And that is a huge statement for me to say and one that takes courage for me to say… I mean, come on, you know me, you know that I am all about love and all sorts of love. You know how romantic I am and how much I believe in love and all that lovely jazz… yet, for the first time I can honestly say out loud, love sucks. Why can I say it? Because I am a human being with feelings. Why am I saying it? Because I want to be as honest as I can be. Why say it? Because it is true. No, it does not suck all the time by any means, way, shape or form… just from time to time, it sucks…
You see, much like me, you´ve been heartbroken before and if you haven´t, you know one or a hundred people who have been and it is a feeling much like any other, you have to deal with the notions and go through it. Currently, me. Something that I have had so hidden before and dealt with it by myself (something you are still able to do if that is what you want, it is perfectly okay),I am letting myself open up about it because talking things out and dealing with them out loud helps me, heals me and allows me to be a better version of myself as I go… and that is the point of life, at least it si what we think in this part of the interwebs.
So, yeah, here I am taking the high road, watching the person that I fell madly in love with and vice-versa, be a million trillion miles away and still be a bit indecisive. Not being I am not a great catch, because you know I am, because this person had feelings for someone else before they met me and had unfinished business. It sounds like a typical rom-com and it this case it kinda is… and not the cheesy ones that we come to know and love, but one of those deep indie films that make you think and come out of the movie theater knowing that the ending doesn’t always have to be with the couple ending up together. ( To be fully honest, I have seen a handful or maybe more Hollywood movies portray this love and quite happy that they´ve finally opened up that world)
You see, for the time being, this person and me can´t be together, not while they have unfinished business and a million trillion miles away, so meanwhile… after all the feelings, love, time, etc… we, mainly me, made the wise decision to let go of that romantic side and let time do what it needs to do. Wise, high road, brave, of course and whatever you want to see it, I agree… however, at this precise moment, it sucks… because of course, I want to be with this person, because I am letting go of a big part of me, because why my heart choose that, because I don´t over analyze things and these are just feelings coming out, because of course we get along so well, because of course, seeing them with someone else is ugh, ugh and more ugh now… because of course, these thoughts I have, you have had them too.
So as I don´t know what else to say than an eye roll, a mad look or two, a tear or three and an ¨let´s continue on our way…¨, I can assure you all that dealing with these feelings, through here, through my close friends, through my pillow and throughout the days is a helpful thing to do and makes me feel more real and honest with myself and those around me. Personally, for me, it is so important to talk your feelings out, regardless the fact how much it takes me to do so, it is fundamental to know how you feel, why you feel that way and then let go… it all comes down to that. Even if you agree or don´t, (which you probably do because you are part of Team Flyer and we are true believers of letting go), let´s say you don´t, you have been heartbroken before and you know it. You know that all these feelings are true and whatever it is that you did or did not do, you know how hard it is.
All that is left to say is that life does go on, duh, it always does. I am happy to go back focusing on myself, not that I lost too much track of that or anything of the sort to be honest, be that as it may, now I can breathe a bit better,think a lot clearer and smile a bunch more. Let love come my way whenever, wherever and let it be what it may. Be sure to protect yourself, to let yourself go, to let yourself be and to love yourself.
Thanks for the read, thanks for the ride, thanks for the share, thanks for the thoughts… I´ll keep them coming your way, you know it, Team Flyer.
The Always Believer
For more fun moments check these out!