Oh my! The stress is sinking in

Hi Team Flyer!

How you doing? On today´s #TruthTuesdays, I am going to talk about back to school after 10 odd years while juggling work and a life.

Yes, it has been done before, yes, it is nothing new, yes, there are worser things, yes to all these things and many more…. and yes, I can vent. Why? Not only because you let me vent and you listen, not only because I am human and have emotions too yet because it is what keeps this whole thing real.

Yesterday, first day of school for the kiddos, I had a long morning full of meetings and back to back talks about schedule planning and budget managing. To then, pick up the kids from school, crazy may-hem first day of school… where the summer heat was still clearly seen on our face, where the dresses mix with the business looks, where the cars try to take over the parents on the sidewalks, where kids ran out with a happy look still, where the speaker didn´t work, where there was new staff members and I, once again, was a new and an old face at a school. The girls saw me and ran immediately as well as the boys. Love at first sight with the girls since we go far back and furthermore, we know we got each other. And the boys a smooth high-five that then turned into a nice friendly hug, after all it is just the beginning with them.

Back to the whole managing time thing; believe babes, I know I´ve always said I am busy (what can you get? I don´t know how to sit still and don´t want to, plus, yoga and meditation doesn´t count) but now?! Before it was all about work and building myself up and really, it was all about learning more about me and what I wanted. You´ve heard bits and pieces here and there. Anyways, now?! I leave my house at 6:30 am and don´t stumble back till about 9:00 pm to keep on studying.  My commute is about an hour and a half on the usual. Now, I have to add that I come in from the city at midday to either rush home, eat for about 20 minutes, to then pick up the kids and then get back to work or either eat at a random bench and study somewhere and then pick up the kids to go back to work.

 

 

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Yes, we have established there has been plenty and countless people who have done this before. Yes, we have our concerns that this is a crazy schedule. Yes, this is something that is old news… And yes, we also know that I have gone through tougher times. However, the biggest but I can actually give you, as big as the Sagrada Familia… and growing (!!) … is that before it was all about survival and job after job after job or even volunteering… this is school. This is a new challenge for me, for a girl, a woman you has´t studied in 10 years, for something who has done a lot in the real world and barely none in the books… for me, this is brand new for my brain.

So, yes, my freak out from yesterday trespasses till today and maybe a few days or even weeks from now… not much longer, my closest pals have told me to remember my initial reason for doing it all and to continue with my true motivation… and, honey, they are oh so right… I still don´t believe them, I am still stressed on imaginary deadlines and the upcoming lack of sleep and the extra work hours I have to pull to make ends meet…

 

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(Thankfully, I got a nice phone call at the end of my Monday, or still somewhat at the end, that surprised me in the sweetest of the way. I want to give a shout out to that person! That person and all those around me, who really, really, are pushing me to become a better person, teacher, goal-getter, entrepreneur and over all, human being)

Now, if I really stay still, if I really stop after typing all this and come together, I will meditate.. And my conclusion will be: I am working as hard as I can to make ends meet, to get me through college, to do extra work hours, to study and get my projects due on time, I am doing all this with the best of efforts because I can. I want to make my work life better, I want to increase my knowledge, I want to learn more and know more and use that to my power. I want to discover my own world even more, I want to make it all crystal clear for me… And for all that, I need to get through this. Nothing bad, nothing dangerous, nothing new, just something challenging in all senses.

 

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And for last, I am able to make this rant, able to vent, not only because of our sections of #TruthTuesdays, because it could have been any other day… I wanted to write all this out as a journal to myself, to see how I felt on this very day, right at the beginning of it all and best of all, see the progress and as I wrote all the reasons why I wanted to do this, it serves as a reminder to myself. Which is, after all, the most important person. Am I right?

Last, I promise! What are you doing for yourself? What is your truth for this Tuesday?  Or any of them, for that matter! Feel free to add your own story and to share whatever you please. I will get back to you, you know I always do… As for me writing in this page, as always, I will do my utmost best to keep up and continue updating you all.. Squeezing minutes as I can as I sure love writing to you! And if you ever miss me, let me know… you are still my true love. This college career is for you. And you know it. Thanks for being there!

Spread the love,

The Always Believer

 

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