What is up?
Once again, after a few months, going to retouch that look. That look of hatred, that look of non approval, that look of lying, that look of sadness.
Yup, here we are… another rocky step in the stone. As I open myself to more open doors, as I let myself go and let you in, we often talk about that look into our inner-selves. I give myself that look many times. Enough to stop counting after we hit 20 per day. Yeah, it has gotten better or it has gotten worse at some times, yet it is what it is.
Here I am, with this challenge to fix this however I can. With the love I have created towards myself and with the best way I can to make myself feel better. It takes time and it is something that haunts me over time. I have become better, I know it… yet why do I still wear clothes twice my size? These baggy dresses, leaving free-flowing space in between my body, these L shirts that just make me look like a giant…. that is the point of this now. This step is the next of recovery. Realizing that you have gotten into a better place and state of mind and from there, taking action. Like wow. Seriously, someone should check my closet and start donating things that are a size too big. Guess what? With this, comes a big step on my part.
Actually doing so… that look I give myself, I am getting rid of it. I am working hard towards my goal, which is rather than working off my extra pounds, change my mentality towards them. Towards my whole body. This topic is recurring because you need to see the actual process and how I write is a helping hand. This is to open your eyes, to clear mine out and to help the next person love their body.
What is it that has made us this bitter with ourselves? What makes me so competitive with inner self to be perfect? Not only that, how is that we want this perfection time after time even when we don’t even have time for it? Ergo, me… not changing my body full speed but changing my mind in the best way I can. In that moment where I give myself that look, I also give myself a smile. I used to force it in but it became an easier task to tackle down after a while. I smile because I love other parts of me, I smile because I am proud of how far I have become….
Next time you give yourself that look, keep in mind the good things you have within you. It starts right there. It all starts within you. Remind yourself that beauty is abstract, remind yourself that you have what it takes, keep your spirit held high as you fight off any other looks.
Your body, your rules. Remember that.
Thanks for the read,
The Always Believer
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