Welcome to this post.
A post for anyone who lost hope. For anyone who is hurting. For anyone who is experiencing deep pain that starts from your gut and moves all the way up and breaks your heart into a million pieces. To those that all they want to do is curl up in their bed.
This is the time where you feel completely vulnerable. You feel more pain of your trauma rather than anything else you’ve got going on. This is the time you need to step back, one turtle step at a time.
After a hit, you and your heart are as fragile as a rose petal. At this initial stage of healing, the most difficult part of it all is getting back up in the wrong environment, such as backgrounds that don’t support you and sad places all together. This is because setting up a normal lifestyle from scratch is as hard enough, add-on waves of pain and being exposed to a new world, it makes everything way more difficult.
Being hard to manage this pain while dealing with the real world, it is like the weather. The storm can hit anytime and anywhere. And any storm is hard to hide and run from while you are running doing every day duties. Any storm is hard to deal with when there are careless people among you. Even if there are people who want to make sure you are okay.
This post is for you. You are a soldier. You are the boss in your life. You need to manage the normal because you need to go on with your every day tasks, in the best way you can.
You are not alone. The Always Believer is here, to remind you the good in the world, to be there when you need it, to help you get better.
Stage one – Go outside your thoughts:
Right now, all you know and feel is that your life is in shambles, that you are sensitive to all your surroundings. Whether it is that you see yourself as a messy creature or everyone is out to get you, this is not completely correct.
As what you are discovering now is the very early stages of the healing process and suffering a real low. You are most likely going to panic over a new reality and that right there, is a lot to deal with already. In short, your life is going through extreme pains.
On the outside, outside your daily thoughts, hop on and you will see that life is much better than what it really is. It is not wonderful yet, however it is more okay than what it feels like. You have to rely on more than what you think of and you are stronger than you feel. At this stage, you need to move as consistently as possible. Stick to a routine and don’t freak out about it. Let it be your guide. Keep being productive with yourself. The only thing holding you down is those chemicals reacting inside you that make you feel like you are doomed from the start. Back to the storm scenario, it is that black cloud that wants to become bigger and bigger, if it has a chance to.
This leads to self-care, as in the routine we talked about. Get enough sleep, eat balanced meals, reach out to your family and friends that are mentally and emotionally stable to take care of you and pour your heart, attention and focus on projects, classes and events that you crave for. Plus, anything that involves exercise.
Reminder: Because you will panic, you will find rocky roads and a deep feeling of letting it all go at this stage, this is your reminder! Life will change completely in the next three, six, nine months…. Right now, it might be all a blur. Don’t ask yourself the same questions about the future, it will add-on extra pain – those What ifs, Why me, Where am I going, What is wrong with me, What did I do – Those are all irrational questions that have no answer so it leads nowhere.
This is your time to heal. Your time to be constant to become healthy. The faster you can move through the motions, all while taking breaks, getting enough exercise and eating healthy, the better you will gain a more rational point of view.
Everything in your life is completely okay. You can cry it out, you can let it out, then get back up. If you need help, ask for it. No need to be completely brave, you are human. We all go through the motions and emotions. We are all here to help. You got to keep moving, keep being productive.
This is all part of the healing process. You are going to have to move through it. And little by little, a better and bigger perspective will come. As you go outside your thoughts now, you will find the peace and balance you need in the near future. Be gentle with yourself. Be who you are. Keep going.
Stage two – Keep moving forward and what awaits you there
As long as you keep a balance, each day will become stronger and easier. Your will take the reigns of your own life, you will be able to see clearer skies. You will remember who you are and what you stand for, who you are want to be and how clearly you stand up for that.
Depending on how you actually are, this may take some more time than other things. You need to deal with the pain as your thoughts become clearer. Be sure to ask for help. Be sure to talk to a therapist if needed and if you can’t do that, create and stick to that routine that fills you with support. Positive surroundings: films, friends, books, activities, music and anything else that pumps you up and pushes you towards a calm state of mind. Self-care comes first.
You will still be in pain, don’t reflect on it. Only if it is instructed by a therapist or a loved on under a friendly, laid back and protective environment. Other than that, let those feelings go. All you got to do is keep moving forward and heal yourself. You will make those clouds whiter and whiter as you go. Spend time with someone who can calm you, you are rebuilding yourself right from the start. It is all okay. You are shedding into a newer and improved you.
Reminder: How you see the world is a reflection on how you feel on the inside, remember, you are still seeing things with a foggy vision. You are starting yourself over, you need to shed over layers of ‘the old you’ to get to ‘the new you’ you want. Remember, it takes time and dedication.
Stage three – Supplies to help you get through the days
The most important things of all, the utmost essential thing you need to remember is that you need to take care of yourself. This is the top priority and thing on your list.
You need a break from your environment from time to time, set a daily time to escape a bit and take a break. If you need to make an excuse, then so be it. You need to respect your own space and mentally provide yourself with relief. Make your own protection a priority. It doesn’t matter how many times you get up to go to the bathroom, doesn’t matter what they expect from you, doesn’t matter how they want you to dress… what matters is how you feel about yourself. And stand up by your own and for yourself. You need to protect yourself.
Let us know your story, tell us what you have got in mind and let it go. You can find many inspirational stories at #GoDoFly and you are even able to spread your own.
Wishing you the best,
The Always Believer
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