Dear Team Flyer,
Today I´ve got love on my mind and my recent heartbreak, if that was really what happened because so many mixed feelings that it is hard to keep up with them all…
This love letter is the millionth one sent out to you, just to you, just to your grumpy magic and your wonderful Christmas cheer.
How do we become brave? How do we make that decision? I know I did, I know that I learned how to be brave, I spit out my feelings for you as soon as I had them, I gave you my honest to heart falling in love with you words, I poured my heart and soul out … and all you did was listen. You listened, because you know how to, you listened because it is part of your charm, you listened because you were as confused as I was…
Was it on you? Or on me, knowing that your heart belonged to another? Is it really what I wanted? Was it really something I saw coming all along? Nah, don´t get it twisted, you know this took me by surprise as much as the next… then, you started falling for us too, our long endless talks, our nights of laughs and days of constant texts, our attraction, our chemistry… We have had so many open heart talks, so many fun moments, so many caring moments, so many us moments and you felt it too…
You told me you didn´t want to choose, that you didn´t like that word, that I was the only one next to you all along, that thanks to me, you were able to do all the amazing things you do… how can you expect me to just brush that away… I was brave enough to tell you and tell you again, I am falling in love with you, I am wanting to be with you and only you…
Crazy, ain´t it.. crazy that out of all the people in this world, I just happened to open my heart and let it be held by you. You, who knows me more than anything, you, the one I can´t stop thinking about, you, the one that has always been there for me too. Then it comes back down to me, respecting your space, your own crazy telenovela of love, just wanting your happy new life to start next to her, me who back out as soon as I could, this was my decision.
I was brave to tell you and brave to step back, brave to know what I was feeling and brave to let you in, brave to cry for an endless amount of days, brave to get back up and focus on me… All I ever wanted was your happiness, your own storyline and your friendship.
And I know that is true, I know that is real, that is the most honest thing I want out of all this.
Yet, I am still a human being, with feelings, with all the love to give, the same one that let you in entirely, the same one that has had past relationships that moved on, the same one that learns each and every step of the way, the same one who knows what she wants, the same one who was brave enough to take the step forward.. you should not have to choose, I should not be one of the options, no matter how much I know that was never your intention, I am the main deal and the destination.
Why am I writing these paragraphs of mixed thoughts and long teary vent as I sip on some tea and listen to Ricardo Arjona… because this is me, this is the part I choose to show and form along with our community. We all have hearts, we have all fell in and out of love, we have all fallen for the right person at the wrong time or have had at least confused thoughts about love. This is here, this messy love letter is here, to show that bravery does count for something, this letter is here to remind me that I have lived and learned, that we are a thing, that we had these feelings, that at the end of the day, all is well and healing.
So if you are sitting there thinking to be brave or not, be brave. Say yes to new adventures, say yes to discover your feelings, say yes to leaps and see where it takes you. After all, if it goes wrong, all you got to do is pick yourself up right after and keep on learning.
Thanks for listening, for the kind words and for the endless amount of love, Team Flyer
The Always Believer
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