Who? You. Who? Me.
Here I am sitting in front of a computer screen, water bottle by my side, pj´s on, hoodie included, listening to some 90´s classics …. Working, as usual, working hard, working on my goal. Cool, right?
In my room, in my world, the no bother sign is up, this could take all night, this. right. here.
Stripping down my thoughts. If only you read this, it is okay, if the whole world reads this, it is okay too. This is me working with myself and gathering thoughts. Today´s topic: the classic – Body.
As some of you know by my previous posts (ex :That Look Another Wave Seriously, my body, my rules) I´ve talk about body a bit and have gone through my fair share of body issues…. Here we are once again, getting back to it. Why? Because everything in life is a progress. Everything that we do and experience takes times. To get over, to achieve, to build up. It´s life.
Okay,moving on…. what´s up with me now?
I still struggle as I look at myself in the mirror at times. It has become less and less, though. Really now, it is being a positive change. Mostly this has to do with the fact that my diet has been better and my exercise has been daily. When I decided to do those two things mentioned above, it was all because I knew I needed a change. I wanted to feel healthy, not only skinny.
Sure, I have gone to the extreme non-eating to the eating everything, now it is all about balance. One that takes time to achieve because it is life. I could have done it the fast way and gone to the limit. I decided not to take that road again and take it easy.
With that being said, I look around and my face looks down in pity… surrounded by beautiful model-looking girls all day does that to a woman. Why? Whyyyyyyy? (yes, the second why was said out loud!) Why do we put ourselves down every single chance we get? And this is not only me talking to myself, the girls who surround me in my daily life all flaunt their skinny bodies and proceed to become skinnier and skinnier. Believe me, I don´t work in a high retail store or anything that has to do with media production at all, these women strive to be skinny because they have that picture in their mind that being skinny is the best thing in the world.
And then there is me. Curvy and me. Not skinny, won´t be that skinny again, not my body type, too much work and you know what… I do love working out and having french fries and chocolate cake twice a month. Wow. Yeah, real-life girl right here.
Where am I now? I do feel better. I do feel that I am working out more and I can work out a lot more, if I really wanted to. I do see a gradual healthy change in me. At the same time, this voice comes back once in a while wanting me to be that skinny girl once again and that is when I will be truly happy. This voice comes and goes once every blue moon and when it does, it takes a bit to get rid of it. I do eventually tick it away. As soon as I realize again that I love how I look and I am achieving my goal.
It also comes back when I stare at my best friend. This skinny girl for life with abs that impress anyone. This girl lives sports and when she doesn´t have time for them, she looks healthy and fine. Reality check: my body type ain´t the same. Got to get my head back down from the clouds and realize that even if I did everything she did, my hips will still be there. No matter how much I run or work out, I do become skinnier in some areas and in others bulky… it´s called muscle. And it stays big on my body. That is the way it is. Do I want to be that way again? Who knows? Not for now, if I ever do, it will take a lot of work. And I am a bit lazy…. I walk everywhere, I dance on a regular basis… when it comes to waking up early to work out? I´d rather be writing my morning away before my day starts. Priorities and tastes…. Once again, who knows?
I do wish for you all to love your body sooner rather than later. Because we live in a contradictory world where you are either too fat or too skinny, wearing too much or wearing too little.. nothing is ever enough. So, why not just embrace what you got? This is my goal and I am working with what I can to believe in myself. To love myself and be comfortable with my body… why is so difficult?
Yes, no matter how many times I get explained this or read articles, it still sucks that this is difficult. This is why I am writing this. Yes, this. Because it is one more post about our bodacious bodies. We got to love them, embrace them and stick up for ourselves. Gentlemen, this goes for you too. We all know you got some hella pressure too!
Let us know what you think in the comments below. And if you want to share your story, tell us at our #GoDoFly section! We will love to have you on the team!
Keep working out, keep being you and loving your bodacious body!
Check out that song below!
The Always Believer
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