Here I am, telling it how it is for #TruthTuesdays! Yup, another look on one of the topics passing through my mind.
And today we are talking about: Measuring success through age.
Okay, so we all have been there, way back when we were 10 or 15 or 20 and someone would be all like “Dude, where do you see yourself in ten years?” or “Girl, where do you want to be five years from now?” …. yup, this just might ring a bell. All this is thanks to society giving us certain rule and standards on here we should be at that or any given moment.
I probably had no idea how to respond that question, all I knew is that I wanted to help the world and make it a better place. So, I probably knew that I wanted to be much more successful by now since I wanted to reach out a helping out to as many people as possible. I’ve re-asked this question to a few friends of mine and this is what they told me:
“I’ve panicked, right before turning 25 years old, I knew that I wasn’t near to where I wanted to be. I knew that I set the bar high but I thought it would have been possible: the house, the kid, the stable job. At that age, I really didn’t want any of that yet anxiety kicked in. Reminding me that I was a bit of a failure since I didn’t accomplished my goals.”
“I felt like I was letting myself down, that the young dreamer inside of me didn’t get to fulfil her dreams or be who she really wanted to be. As soon as I open social media or just take a walk down the block, I see newlyweds or new kids all over the place. I felt I was stuck behind the rest of the crowd and I couldn’t do anything to move faster.”
“ I was a bit relieved, I wanted to be doing a lot of things at this age. Gladly, I am taking one duty at a time. Per contra, I couldn’t believe all the things I wanted to do. I set high standards for myself and I still do this. As soon something comes off my to-do list, something else gets add on.”
And it goes on… these friends of mine are anywhere from 21 to 35… And no matter the age range, most of us aren’t where we expected to be at this point. We are not failures of any kind, we just take our times on certain things, more than we thought, more than we had in mind. We had this set idea in our mind to live a certain way and do things that our age tells us… please, let’s stop this. (We love you, Hillary Duff)
I could have had mine at 12 and others could have had theirs at 18… even some waited to have sex until they were 25 and 29! (Tia and Tamera Mowry!) (PS: Have a goodie from Tahj Mowry) For everything else in life, this works the same. You feel ready when you are ready. My sister has already clear ideas in her mind to have a family soon and a stable job as a teacher. While, I am over here, working endlessly to start-up my company and change the world. Neither my boyfriend and I see kids in the near future nor any other stable plans. We are both living out our dreams first.
And yes, my sister and me are the same age. Go figure…same age, two different lives and best of all; we both are happy and proud with what we are doing. And whenever I am ready to be where she is, then so be it. For now, I am still discovering my road.
Imaginary time on my imaginary watch ? I’ve so been there and it took me such a long time to shake off.(Let’s give it up for Humble the Poet!)
I am the first to recognize that I wanted to have accomplished a certain goal at a certain age, hands down. And when I didn’t, my world came crashing down. I was constantly chasing after this imaginary clock that made me think I need to do certain things before “time ran out.” (Okay, time only runs out in a way that we all know and since we are not dealing with that issue right now, let’s just say that time doesn’t really run out.)
Don’t jump into buying a car, a house or even get married just because you are a certain age. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. If not, the payments, the stress, the divorce or any other factor in between will get in your way more than you would ever know. And that is something you forced on your own.
See the thunderstorms and not the rainbows.. wait, what?
Yup, even though that is the opposite of what we are about, this is what inevitably happens. You see more fails than accomplishments. That is where I was, not really seeing the fails but seeing all the things I’ve missed on my to-do list that I once wrote out for myself rather than the big picture.
And then there was the day that my best friend looked me in the eye and reminded me: “Yo! You have travelled the world, move out when you were 17, working in something you love and you get to talk to people from all around.” Sure, things like: “ Have a place to call my home, have these bills paid by this age” and a few other things… were still on the list, yet it wasn’t until that very moment that I began to realize what I was missing out.
I bet the same thing happens to you. Missing out on your own personal celebration when lots of exciting things came along, realizing that you have done some pretty cool stuff instead. Time to give yourself credit and count the rainbows, not the thunderstorms.
No matter if the headline goes like this: “She got rich by doing what she loves when she was 17!”
So? She is off making the world a better place! What are you doing? People are forever on the move, they are changing as we speak, think and talk right now. And not only that, these people’s circumstances change too. From moving into penthouses to finding a cheap space to work, from opening a new business to staying at the regular 9-5 job, from having three kids under the age of 25 to having just one when they reach 40, life moves fast and it changes just the same.
We know quite a few cases where the people’s life career didn’t start until much further in life and now they are world-famous pros. (Vera Wang, Stan Lee, Henry Ford, Julia Child, J.K Rowling and the list goes on)
Chill, do what you love and keep working on that passion, as you have plenty of time to keep following your life’s dream.
Repeating this statement: Chill and enjoy the moment!
Even though this took me quite of bit of time, since I was chasing the imaginary clock, once it hits you, it is like you struck gold!
Slow down, be thankful and enjoy the moment. If we have a constant to do list, it really does feel like life is running out. Yes, I am a busy bee and yes, I’d like to get things done…. Above all, I’ve learned to find a balance between things I want to do and things that need to be done.
As of now, no matter how wobbly the floor seems to get from time to time, I can actually say I’ve got balance in my life. From a healthy relationship to flourishing my company to being able to pay all my bills, I still have to volunteer, dance, hang with friends and sit back and relax.
Slowly and surely, one step at a time. Sure, I still live with friends, sure I still work day jobs while I work hard on my dream, sure I still won’t live with my boyfriend anytime soon… who cares? And who knows what the future will bring? I love this moment and everything in it. I enjoy celebrating my birthday, my age, my life and knowing that a million more adventures will come. Let’s all celebrate life, as of now, as of this moment and see all the goodness it gives you.
And remember: age equals experience.
As far as all the things you learned in high school and college goes, you might changed your mind all together… You are supposed to change, even though you want things right away, you need to earn them first. And life gives it to us, right we need it and right when we see that things are meant to be a certain way.
Not all at once, just keep going, keep believe, keep learning..
Thanks for the read, thanks for the love,
The Always Believer
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Thanks and spread the love,
The Always Believer