Today we have Courtney Burns for #GoDoFly. Her story is a heartwarming one, that uncovers her self-worth and beautiful soul along the way. This story is a two-parter! Let’s join her as she explains to us what she went through and her life is coming along now. We are also proud to say she is on today’s podcast episode!
Always Believer – Fly Days
My Bravely Beautiful Fly Day Story.
Who I am?
What do I want from this life?
Questions I pondered the majority of my life. Searching outside of myself for answers. In other people. In new places.
In the constant state of movement.
At 28 years old I’m FINALLY starting to feel like the person I’ve always dreamed of becoming.
But getting here. Getting to this point.
I took a lot. It took a lot of hard truths.
A massive rock bottom and some seriously dark knights of the soul to get to this point.
Getting to the point of living my most authentic Bravely Beautiful life has been a journey and a constant work in progress.
As a millennial living in today’s world constantly up against society and the norms placed upon us, I’ve found myself breaking through barriers I never even knew I’d had to break down.
So what’s my story?
How did I get here?
My name is Courtney.
I have very big emotions that I’ve constantly found myself trying to understand behind closed doors.
I have always been incredibly sensitive.
I’ve always been super self-aware sometimes to a flaw.
I’ve always been one to set a goal or dream and make it come true.
I hit a rut. I sunk down a hole I didn’t think I’d get out of.
At the age of 24, my life changed.
I found out I had HPV really changing the trajectory of my life. I had to have surgery in Australia on my Working Holiday VISA to remove abnormal cells from my cervix. It was scary. It cost a lot of money I didn’t have. And ultimately catapulted me into a massive self-discovery journey.
I slipped into a period of feeling absolutely alone, worthless, disgusting, and like “trash” which I continually would repeat to myself.
Leading up to this point I was poisoning my body with alcohol and drugs.
I was allowing for mistreatment in relationships and playing out emotionally unavailable patterns in partnerships.
I felt so sad all of the time. But I couldn’t really understand why.
This was about four years ago now.
It’s been a big journey.
A journey of really having to be Bravely Beautiful in all aspects to overcome these experiences I faced.
Having HPV was a manifestation of extremely low self-worth in my personal journey.
The beginning of my twenties was a lot of me trying to change guys’ behaviors, to try and get them to choose me by changing how I acted. By shutting off my feelings and adapting to them and their wants and needs discounting my own.
It was me partying and numbing a lot of my feelings. It was me saying how gross my body was. Or treating it poorly.
HPV cracked me open. It made me vulnerable in all the ways I had been trying to hide from.
I looked in the mirror every single day after I found out I had this and called myself disgusting. I shamed myself. I belittled myself. I told myself no one would ever want me now.
I truly convinced myself I was worth nothing.
From this experience, the journey I’ve been on has been about opening my heart. It’s been about healing from the inside out. It’s been about learning to put my needs and wants first. It’s been about acknowledging my feelings.
Stay tuned this Sunday for part two of her journey. Her journey, which is such an inspiration. Her adventure, which helps her grow every day. Her lessons, which help us grow too. She is also on today’s podcast episode!
She shares what she knows in order to help others grow and glow. Her experiences and life story is worth sharing. We are thankful to have her as a part of our community.
The Always Believer
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